I remember when Samridhi was 6 or 7 yrs old.We were in Chandigarh. Devyani was asleep. Samridhi was as usual watching me get ready....with a sullen face! It always annoyed her when she saw me going out with R. That moment her face was flushed, her tears fresh! She asked me not to go, & yet I went...to a dinner where I would'nt be missed. She was right when she screamed. My staying at home would have mattered- to her & me!!So why did I leave you & go? Because we adults are cowards. We get our priorities wrong. We give undue importance to unimportant things. When R & I got back at midnight, Muniya had put her to bed. She said that Sam had refused dinner. I felt so small & wretched. When I saw her the next morning, I was still feeling awful. But she had forgotten. A big smile & she asked me "can I have ice-cream in my milk"? It stung me more than a slap. I winced. I made a peace offering of her favourite food. It was pretty sly of me coz she was so unsuspecting. But that;s how mother's operate. Any trick for a little peace!! It does'nt always work, but who says we have to stop trying??
Monday 23 May 2011
Thursday 19 May 2011
Come on over!!
Just the other day a host of sunbirds descended upon my pink Ipomeas for a honey fest!! The shining blue-black feathers & their shrill cries made me drag my entire family to view these pretty things. just then a thought struck me , how strange it is , this desire to share a pleasing sight, sound or experience.
The need to share pleasure is inherent in all of us. The baby who points & says ga-ga is calling out to its parent to enjoy what he found intriguing. Similarly a toddler when he cries "look mummy"is trying to include her in the miracle of his discovery. All too often we vaguely reply "yes Darling"without stopping to enjoy his delight! We enjoy laughter more when we share it with someone. Could you imagine watching a comedy with no one to laugh with?
Come to dinner,tea, drinks. Eating is an enjoyment to be shared. When we eat alone we always manage a quick snack or a mug of coffee perched just anywhere. But with just one other person in the house, the table is laid, even the simplest meal is properly prepared & surprise surprise , we enjoy the food more! Perhaps the pleasure of sharing our meal is not fully appreciated till we find ourselves alone . Sharing of the family mealtime is more important than a rigid bedtime.
We often hear our friends say ,"You must come & see our roses, the winter annuals....".This is not with a sense of superiority, but a true sense of pleasure in sharing of those few minutes of communal appreciation! In my family home in Jamshedpur May thru July was a festival of colours, Gulmohars, Jacarandas, Cassias, Amaltas......the stunning annual parade was a sight to behold & No 6 Loyola area was "the place" for chai, nimbu pani & panna ( we didnt call people over for drinks in those days!!!!).
We share constantly with those we love, & when our loved ones leave us it is those little moments, we miss the most! When my Grandfather died , I mourned most.His sense of humour, how he always saw the funny side of life & it was a long time before I stopped making mental notes to show him, to tell hie & to share with him. This moment of sharing is always taken for granted, the importance of it for our mental stability is overlooked.
We all know at least one person, who lives alone, with little oppurtunities, to share small pleasures. Perhaps we might try to find a common sharing ground for those alone people, the benefits from being able to say "Come & Look".
The need to share pleasure is inherent in all of us. The baby who points & says ga-ga is calling out to its parent to enjoy what he found intriguing. Similarly a toddler when he cries "look mummy"is trying to include her in the miracle of his discovery. All too often we vaguely reply "yes Darling"without stopping to enjoy his delight! We enjoy laughter more when we share it with someone. Could you imagine watching a comedy with no one to laugh with?
Come to dinner,tea, drinks. Eating is an enjoyment to be shared. When we eat alone we always manage a quick snack or a mug of coffee perched just anywhere. But with just one other person in the house, the table is laid, even the simplest meal is properly prepared & surprise surprise , we enjoy the food more! Perhaps the pleasure of sharing our meal is not fully appreciated till we find ourselves alone . Sharing of the family mealtime is more important than a rigid bedtime.
We often hear our friends say ,"You must come & see our roses, the winter annuals....".This is not with a sense of superiority, but a true sense of pleasure in sharing of those few minutes of communal appreciation! In my family home in Jamshedpur May thru July was a festival of colours, Gulmohars, Jacarandas, Cassias, Amaltas......the stunning annual parade was a sight to behold & No 6 Loyola area was "the place" for chai, nimbu pani & panna ( we didnt call people over for drinks in those days!!!!).
We share constantly with those we love, & when our loved ones leave us it is those little moments, we miss the most! When my Grandfather died , I mourned most.His sense of humour, how he always saw the funny side of life & it was a long time before I stopped making mental notes to show him, to tell hie & to share with him. This moment of sharing is always taken for granted, the importance of it for our mental stability is overlooked.
We all know at least one person, who lives alone, with little oppurtunities, to share small pleasures. Perhaps we might try to find a common sharing ground for those alone people, the benefits from being able to say "Come & Look".
Friday 13 May 2011
Memories!!
Time flies and how!!It all seems just yesterday,I still remember my Father exhorting me , without looking at any watch, to hurry up for school even as Saigal's metifluous voice from the old Philips radio reverberated in our house.And the clock would strike 8 in no time!!
Saigal holds a lot of fond memories for me. A part of my childhood has a lot of Saigal in it. My grandfather made a big handsome house for my grandmother & would render"" ëk bangla bane nyara"!! Later on my dad followed the same route & would hum ""do naina matware tihare"'when my mom sulked!! I have hummed "so ja rajkumari"' to my daughters giggles at my rendition with a deliberate nasal tone!!This explains why he is a household name!
I have heard him since my infancy & still admire his songs being on the wrong side of 40!. His songs are like a soothing balm in this hurly burly of MTV & Channel V.Even now in one of my nostagic childhood memories I see the time & if it's 7.55 am I remember Saigal & Sri Lanka Broadcasting Society a la Purane filmon ke sangeet!!All the memories of my grand dad singing in his deep resonant voice "babul mora naihar chooto hi jai!!"""brings a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye!! Ah the simple pleasures of childhood!!!
Saigal holds a lot of fond memories for me. A part of my childhood has a lot of Saigal in it. My grandfather made a big handsome house for my grandmother & would render"" ëk bangla bane nyara"!! Later on my dad followed the same route & would hum ""do naina matware tihare"'when my mom sulked!! I have hummed "so ja rajkumari"' to my daughters giggles at my rendition with a deliberate nasal tone!!This explains why he is a household name!
I have heard him since my infancy & still admire his songs being on the wrong side of 40!. His songs are like a soothing balm in this hurly burly of MTV & Channel V.Even now in one of my nostagic childhood memories I see the time & if it's 7.55 am I remember Saigal & Sri Lanka Broadcasting Society a la Purane filmon ke sangeet!!All the memories of my grand dad singing in his deep resonant voice "babul mora naihar chooto hi jai!!"""brings a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye!! Ah the simple pleasures of childhood!!!
Much Ado About Nothing!!!!
I am a person of infinite leisure.I watch the world go by and do nothing about it. Till a couple of years back,I had this crushing desire to be one of the immortal ones. I too wished to leave footprints on the sands of time. But apart from a college degree, a very successful marriage and bringing up two wonderful girls, I cannot think of any achievement which can be recorded for posterity.I have a couple of fetishes. I keep a spotlessly clean home, I am not a gourmet cook ,neither am I a good eater but I can whip up a complete meal in a jiffy! Much as I cannot sing(unless I croon after a couple of beers ),I like to listen to music.I love plants & my pets & the only singing I have done is to them. They have taken to it most kindly since they are blooming in all their glory!!I love reading & books are my best friends
This inactive lifestyle for questions like how do you pass your time. I do not do anything nor do I feel guilty about it! Most people are doing things not because they want to but because they have to. I am doing nothing because I chose not to. But I have managed my time very well.All my work is carried out with clockwork precision. This habitual ritual & routine encompasses my day & I also indulge in daydreaming...my favourite pastime I do armchair travels(oh & do I get tired & weary like all travellers!!),write a novel..yet it all seems in third person.I seem to be having no problems with my life. it is my life after all!!I am quite happy ...thank you!!. If you think there is a problem, it is your view - not mine!!!!
This inactive lifestyle for questions like how do you pass your time. I do not do anything nor do I feel guilty about it! Most people are doing things not because they want to but because they have to. I am doing nothing because I chose not to. But I have managed my time very well.All my work is carried out with clockwork precision. This habitual ritual & routine encompasses my day & I also indulge in daydreaming...my favourite pastime I do armchair travels(oh & do I get tired & weary like all travellers!!),write a novel..yet it all seems in third person.I seem to be having no problems with my life. it is my life after all!!I am quite happy ...thank you!!. If you think there is a problem, it is your view - not mine!!!!
Monday 9 May 2011
The junk drawer
Don't we all have that ONE drawer in our house which is waiting patiently for its turn to be spruced up..organised?With two days to go for my deadline of spring cleaning, I was running on schedule.As a rule my home is mostly tidy, but "THAT"' drawer ....Finding a little extra time on my hands I decided to tackle that one spot that bothered me the most!....our junk drawer.I'm convinced that even the neatest people or should I say families have them. You know, those drawers where you put all your old tel. nos., the warranty of the fridge(which you will never find when the fridge finally gives up on you storage skills!),the recipes written behind napkins(that you always mean to copy later!),a hurriedly written (a couple of words missing)hindi no on a small piece of paper!The place that collects all the little things you're going to put up as soon as you find the righr spot!
Our junk drawer is near the phone. I tried to shove a pencil in there once & it popped back out like something alive! I set aside time to tackle The Drawer. Since the school holidays had not yet started,the kids would'nt be aware of the wonderful string or torn paper they'd miss. They always wanted to save every scrap for some future project of enormous magnitude!Reasoning never worked & no mother should have to face a bulging drawer & pitiful kids at the same time!
So armed with a plastic garbage bag , roughly the size of our 1st apartment i decided to get ruthless!If I could'nt remember the name that went with the phone no ,i was'nt going to dial it & play kaun banega crorepati with the person at the other end! If any warranty looked yellow & oldI I would assume that the appliance had fulfilled its mission it would not require a back up! I had every intention of finding the bottom of the drawer!
I worked my way through dozens of 3x5 cards listing cake ingredients, Thank You cards with mismatched envelopes,& a bevy of small springs & bolts from something that had obviously exploded with great force!! I had cleared out a respectable part when I hit the first snag,,,,,,,,,,a picture of 'Mummy"'drawn by my 7y r old
(she is now 20!!) I read the date & looked at the abundance of misspelt words .My mind raced back to the day & I could still see the satisfied look on Sam's face when I said it looked just like me! The picture stayed. Still in the process of tossing crayons I came across a Mother's Day card made of icecream sticks..& I remembered how both my girls beamed in excitement at their handiwork!There was sand from Goa in a pouch, pine cones from our trip to Shimla, a piece of Colloseum , shells, stones!! It was all downhill from there.I found notes written by Rakesh, a valentine day card,poems & I spent time with each of them recalling every detail! My garbage bag was no longer growing in size!
My heart now turned towards the reality of growing children.The years go so quickly, its never long until all that we have left of the early days are little misspelt words & the warmth in our heart when we read them! I returned all the keepsakes & decided to label the junk drawer as "treasures"'......coz it was anything but junk! They were a very real ,if somewhat unorganised reminder of the things in my life that make me truly thankful!!
Music for the soul!
As the rain leaves a zillion drops in my lush 10ft by 10 ft balcony,i'm lifted with their gentle rhythm.I tune into some of the songs which make my head spin in a flashback mode.It's a relief from that blighter,today's hot craze..whatshisname reshamiya or mika or any of those jarring singers who make you wish you were deaf! Almost always mt favourite ditties guarantee me reprieve,and I keep asking myself,what's with songs that make us jump with joy & sometimes leaves us wistful!
I have a confession to make,other than the Eagles Hotel California or Frank Sinatra's Strangers in the night my mind buzzes back yo those lovely halcyon days of hindi tracks.When I hear "chood do aanchal"picturized on Dev Anand, was such a big debonair song; the 50's equivalent of ""cool'"The ched chaad was so true, so endearing. Geeta Dutt's 'mujhe jaan na kaho meri jaan"'an exquisite Gulzar number from Anubhav. The rain humming outside Tanija spoke of her yearning that could'nt have been expressed better!
My ultimate romantic no is Äbhi na jao chood kar"". The tenderness,the longing: you can feel DevAnand & sadhana are trying to seize the moment.Songs like these make us yearn for the past. They fill our heads with happy visuals, make us cry & want that simple life.They make you live your dreams vicariously.
We switch tracks..we switch generations.So it has to be RD's Rimjhim gire saawan or Bheegi Bheegi Raaton Mein..or Mera Kuch Saaman.Cant pinpoint one reason why these songs make us into a marshmellow! It could be a failed love, it could be a love that didnt find a reason ..but these songs just turn the right knobs!
We never forget anything.Time changes nothing.It simply rearranges memories like the movie tracks on a CD changer!The rain taps incessantly but I wont be alone..my music is with me & understands my moods like no human being can!
I have a confession to make,other than the Eagles Hotel California or Frank Sinatra's Strangers in the night my mind buzzes back yo those lovely halcyon days of hindi tracks.When I hear "chood do aanchal"picturized on Dev Anand, was such a big debonair song; the 50's equivalent of ""cool'"The ched chaad was so true, so endearing. Geeta Dutt's 'mujhe jaan na kaho meri jaan"'an exquisite Gulzar number from Anubhav. The rain humming outside Tanija spoke of her yearning that could'nt have been expressed better!
My ultimate romantic no is Äbhi na jao chood kar"". The tenderness,the longing: you can feel DevAnand & sadhana are trying to seize the moment.Songs like these make us yearn for the past. They fill our heads with happy visuals, make us cry & want that simple life.They make you live your dreams vicariously.
We switch tracks..we switch generations.So it has to be RD's Rimjhim gire saawan or Bheegi Bheegi Raaton Mein..or Mera Kuch Saaman.Cant pinpoint one reason why these songs make us into a marshmellow! It could be a failed love, it could be a love that didnt find a reason ..but these songs just turn the right knobs!
We never forget anything.Time changes nothing.It simply rearranges memories like the movie tracks on a CD changer!The rain taps incessantly but I wont be alone..my music is with me & understands my moods like no human being can!
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